Humility Doesn't Mean Pretending You Suck

Being humble and standing right-sized is no easy task.

The first thing that comes to mind is something I heard years ago:

I'm an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.

That pretty much sums it up. 🤣

Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of the world. Other times, I feel completely ordinary.

But if you really think about it, none of us is ordinary.

Human beings are so different and yet so much alike. We all have strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments, failures, fears, and insecurities. We all want to feel important. We all want to believe our lives matter.

I enjoy being praised. It makes me feel good.

I also enjoy praising other people. If someone does something well, I like telling them. I know what it feels like when someone notices the effort I put into something, so I try to do the same for others.

I also enjoy talking about my accomplishments, my travels, and the things I've experienced throughout my life.

Does that make me a braggart?

Possibly sometimes.

Most of the time, I'm simply proud of the things I've accomplished. I don't believe there is anything wrong with that. In fact, I think it can be healthy.

Humility doesn't mean pretending I haven't accomplished anything.

It doesn't mean putting myself down before somebody else gets the opportunity.

It doesn't mean I have to stand in the corner apologizing for taking up space.

Humility means being honest about who I am.

I have strengths.

I have weaknesses.

I've done some pretty good things.

I've also done some incredibly stupid things.

That seems pretty right-sized to me.

Now, if I were screaming from the rooftops every day to anyone willing to listen about how incredibly awesome my life is and how fucking special I am, then we might have a problem. At that point, pride and ego would probably be getting in the way.

Something funny happened last week.

Someone introduced me to a young couple who were opening a booth next to mine. She told them how nice my work was and how hard I worked.

Then she looked at me and said, "Your stuff is really nice."

I said, "I know."

She laughed and said, "See? He's humble too." 🤣

I realized afterward that she may have thought I needed convincing.

I didn't.

I know my stuff is good because I genuinely like it. I would buy the things I make. If I didn't believe they were good, why the hell would I expect anyone else to buy them?

When I said, "I know," I wasn't trying to brag or act superior.

Of course, it may have sounded that way.

I tend to do that sometimes. The words that come out of my mouth don't always match the intention inside my head.

I'm not exactly sure what that's all about. 🤣

What I do know is that I'm much more right-sized than I was when I was drinking and drugging.

We would certainly hope so after all these years.

Getting sober is about much more than simply not drinking. I had to change if I wanted to become the human being I once wished I could be.

That change didn't happen overnight.

I've had to look honestly at the way I behave. I've had to recognize my shortcomings, make amends, and occasionally pause before speaking.

I said occasionally.

Let's not get carried away. 🤣

I have humbly asked my Higher Power to remove my shortcomings. I believe many things have changed through working the AA program.

The greatest proof is that I've stayed sober.

But there is other evidence too.

The promises of AA have come true in my life. Not all at once, and certainly not because I became some perfectly spiritual human being.

I'm no spiritual guru floating through the clouds, humming peacefully while I hit a triangle.

Hell, I will never be that guy.

I have no desire to be that guy.

I'm just another garden-variety alcoholic and drug addict trying to live life on life's terms. I want to do it in a way that allows me to be proud of who I am without believing I'm better than everyone else.

I don't need to make myself larger than I am.

I don't need to make myself smaller either.

I can acknowledge the good, continue working on the bad, laugh at the ridiculous parts, and keep moving forward.

Maybe that is humility.

Knowing who I am, accepting who I am, and remaining willing to become better.