We Cannot Do This Thing Called Life Alone

Thinking about this morning’s Reflection and waking up to the fact that it is September 11 reminds me that we absolutely cannot do this thing called life alone.

It doesn’t matter whether you are an alcoholic in AA or a normie trying to navigate life on life’s terms.

When something like this happens, we need one another.

September 11 may appear to be another ordinary day on the calendar, but it isn’t.

Twenty-five years ago, our entire country was rocked by a senseless and evil act. Manhattan was devastated, but here on Long Island, the effects reached into nearly every community.

Everyone seemed to know someone who had been lost.

Families lost parents, children, spouses, siblings, relatives, friends, coworkers, neighbors, firefighters, police officers, and other first responders.

Twenty-five years does not wipe away those tears or remove the heartache.

It may make the grief a little more bearable, but it does not make the people we lost any less important.

What I also remember is how people responded.

Our communities came together.

People collected food, clothing, water, tools, and anything else that might help the workers on the Pile. Neighbors helped neighbors. Complete strangers took care of one another.

Nobody gave a rat’s ass about the color of someone’s skin or which side of the political aisle they stood on.

We were human beings helping other human beings.

People sometimes say something good can rise from something terrible. That does not make the terrible thing acceptable, and it does not bring back the people who were lost.

But like a phoenix rising from the ashes, communities throughout this country rose and took care of one another.

For a while, we remembered that we belonged to something larger than ourselves.

I think many of us may have forgotten that.

We have all been given an opportunity to be good humans. We can rely on one another, help one another, and strive to do the next right thing.

We can love and be loved by whomever we choose.

We can disagree without treating one another as enemies.

We can help somebody without asking who they voted for first.

My life changed the day I walked into an AA room.

I made a decision to stop drinking, but I also became part of a fellowship. That fellowship taught me that I did not have to face life alone.

Because I was sober on September 11, 2001, I was able to be there for my fellow human beings.

I was able to help people who needed it.

I didn’t have to sit around feeling powerless and hopeless. I didn’t have to let the anger rot my brain and fester inside me.

I could talk about it in meetings. I could speak with friends and sponsors. I could listen to other people who were frightened, angry, heartbroken, and confused.

For that moment, we were connected by something other than our alcoholism and drug addiction.

We were people trying to understand the unimaginable.

Meetings and phone calls were absolutely necessary for this alcoholic.

Something that painful could have become an easy excuse to drink. I could have convinced myself that the world was terrible, nothing mattered, and getting drunk was a completely reasonable response.

The people around me helped make sure I didn’t disappear into that thinking.

That is why the old-timers told us:

Even if your ass falls off, pick it up, put it in a bag, and bring it to a meeting.

They weren’t joking.

Well, maybe they were joking a little.

But the message was deadly serious.

No matter what happens, stay connected.

Today is a day of remembrance. It is a day of sadness that many people still carry deeply.

Remember the people who were taken.

Remember the families who have lived with that empty place for twenty-five years.

Remember the first responders, workers, volunteers, and ordinary people who ran toward suffering because another human being needed help.

Then honor them by doing something kind.

Help somebody without announcing it.

Treat people the way you would want to be treated.

Reach out to someone who may be struggling.

Love your family.

Stay close to your friends.

Keep it simple.

Don’t drink.

Go to meetings.

Be a good human.

Never forget.