Who Am I When Nobody Is Looking?

Sober Through the Years

Who Am I When Nobody Is Looking?

September 21–27, 2026

A NOTE FROM GUY

I wrote something this week that I keep coming back to:

Who am I when nobody is looking?

For me, that gets pretty close to what integrity means.

It isn't being perfect. I'm certainly not going to pull that off. It's doing the right thing when there isn't a reward attached to it and nobody is standing there keeping score.

If I cut a corner and nobody notices, the problem is, I know.

Did I tell the truth?

Did I do what I said I was going to do?

If I screwed something up, did I own it?

That stuff sounds small, but I've found that I trust myself a little more when I'm not keeping track of lies, excuses and things I hope nobody notices.

Nobody hands out chips for that.

Probably just as well.

AROUND THE RECOVERY WORLD

Recovery Day in Red Deer

Recovery Day Alberta wrapped up its September events with a free gathering in Red Deer on Sept. 26. The event included recovery resources, family activities and live music, including a performance by Trooper.

I like seeing recovery out in public like this. For a long time addiction was something people whispered about. Anything that makes recovery a little more visible seems worthwhile to me. (Source: https://rdnewsnow.com/2026/09/18/recovery-day-brings-education-plus-rock-n-roll-to-downtown-red-deer/)

Sober Social Life Keeps Growing

Michigan Sober Social has continued expanding across the state, including into Muskegon. The group organizes alcohol-free social events for people in recovery, people who are sober-curious and people who simply don't want alcohol at the center of everything they do.

Apparently it is possible to have fun without drinking.

Who knew? (Source: https://michigansobersocial.com/)

International Al-Anon Convention

The 9th International Al-Anon Convention with AA and ACA participation took place Sept. 25–27 in Grainau, Germany.

One thing sobriety taught me pretty quickly is that alcoholism doesn't only affect the alcoholic. Families live through plenty of our insanity too, and they deserve their own help and their own recovery. (Source: https://alcoholics-anonymous.eu/event/9th-international-al-anon-convention)

SOMETHING WORTH WATCHING OR LISTENING TO

Dads in Recovery

Sober Speak released a new episode Sept. 25 featuring David M. from Calgary talking about dads in recovery.

Family relationships don't magically repair themselves because we stop drinking, so this one caught my attention. (Source: https://podnews.net/podcast/i1eyy/episodes)

Journeys

A new documentary called Journeys looks at psilocybin-assisted psychedelic therapy through interviews with patients, facilitators, researchers, ethicists and lawmakers.

This is an area getting a lot of attention right now. I'm interested in where the evidence eventually leads, but I'm not qualified to tell anyone what medical treatment they should use. That's what doctors are for. (Source: https://www.krwg.org/krwg-news/2026-09-21/new-psilocybin-documentary-journeys-examines-psychedelic-use-in-therapy)

The One About Matthew Perry

Netflix has announced The One About Matthew Perry, a three-part documentary series premiering Oct. 27.

Perry spoke publicly about addiction during his life, and the series includes people who knew him personally, including his sister. I'm hoping it treats the whole person rather than turning addiction into another celebrity spectacle. (Source: https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/the-one-about-matthew-perry-release-date-news)

FROM AA THIS WEEK

The Sept. 23 Daily Reflection is titled “I Was an Exception.”

That one makes me smile because I think alcoholics can be extraordinarily talented at finding reasons the normal rules shouldn't apply to us.

I know I spent plenty of time thinking my circumstances were somehow different.

Recovery has been a long education in discovering that I'm actually not quite as unique as I once thought I was.

Turns out I'm pretty much a garden-variety alcoholic.

I'm okay with that. (Source: https://www.aa.org/daily-reflections-september-23)

THIS WEEK'S REFLECTION

Who Am I When Nobody Is Looking?

Integrity is something I've thought about differently as I've gotten older.

When I was younger, honesty could feel like something that mattered mostly when there was a chance of getting caught.

Recovery changed that.

For me, honesty has become much more about whether I can trust myself.

If I tell somebody I'm going to do something, do I do it?

If I make a mistake and nobody notices, do I still admit it?

If I owe somebody an apology, do I make it even if I'd rather pretend the whole thing never happened?

Nobody else may ever know the answers to some of those questions.

I will.

And that's really the point.

I've also been thinking about what it means to carry the message.

I used to think that mostly meant talking about recovery.

Today I think a lot of it is simply how I live.

Be reliable.

Be kind.

Tell the truth.

Show up when I say I'm going to show up.

Own my mistakes.

I wrote something this week that probably says it better than anything else:

People should be able to see that recovery changed me without me ever telling them.

I like that.

I don't always get it right, but at least I know what direction I'm supposed to be heading.

BEFORE I GO

I don't have anything profound to wrap this up with.

If I cut a corner, tell a half-truth or fail to do what I said I would do, maybe nobody else ever knows.

The problem is, I know.

That's probably enough to keep me working on it.

See you next week.